Sitting here in stunned silence. I think to myself with a clenched fist and whiskey on the rocks. My life savings is riding on this game. I look around my home office. “125,000 dollars how could I be so careless?” 5 minutes have passed before the dreaded phone call arrives.
The incredibly calm deep voice terrified me. “I cant honor our agreement!” stammers out barely above a whisper.
The next hour is a vexed blur of soul wrenching fear. The dread feeling you feel when your own doom is quickly approaching is paralyzing. My fingers are trembling and the stale scent of sweat pooling on my desk in front of me. Above to my left is an unopened bottle of Glenglassaugh 40.
“Seems like a fine way to end the day” While reaching up a black Mercedes Benz is seen slowly pulls into my driveway. Through the fuzzy haze of intoxication life’s memories collide with the events that led me to this moment.
“Of all the things on my mind one final taste of fine scotch….fitting”
I watched the doorway handle turn slowly and give way to a ghost of a figure clad in all black. Young, expertly tailored, one would imagine him a business man with the terrifyingly serious air of a warrior about him. No words are spoken. Instantly the cold steel of a Makarov pistol is pressed against my temple.
I wanted to scream, to plead, to take this God Damn whiskey glass and smash it into his damn head. Instead I did none of that; I lived an eternity in one single explosive
The sound of metal clangs echo in the far off distance as I stack the bar with another plate. Today is the day I think to myself. Laser sharp focus anchors my spirit to the knurled squat bar. My heart and mind united in anticipation. All else now fades into whisper. A deep sigh escapes my lips as cold steel wraps my scapula.
Doubt, hesitation, but most of all fear is put aside. This my own personal gorgon will be conquered tonight, and afterwards I will look back upon that last second of steady peace the almost infinite second of time when I chose victory over defeat as mine.
Like I said in a previous post people are starting to ask me how you have lost so much weight….
Learn to intermittent fast from the master himself.
I don’t bother wasting my breath telling most people how I am doing it though. I can see in their eyes that it will be a waste of both our times. The allure of the doughnut, cookie, hamburger, and the relative blandness of vegetables drives most to gluttony after 2 weeks of ‘diet’. What I didn’t expect (even though I probably should have) was people telling me “Oh you are too skinny”, “how much weight have you lost? You should stop.” Then talk about how they were skinny once decades ago. I understand their motive fear or shame drives them to say those things. It reminds them of their failure forces them to ‘look at themselves in the mirror’ and it terrifies them.
They don’t have the strength to follow through; I created a mission for myself and will follow through.
Its chest day…..can’t wait!
December is drawing to a close and my weight loss goals are pretty much cemented at this point.
My shift is drawing to a close the anticipation is pumping up my muscles. My mind is fresh and clear; today is chest day I tell myself. I can already see iron being thrown into the air as I max out another set. Today is my last chance of december to get my chest pumped. Ive been asked before why I go to the gym and in a blatent rip off of the matrix my usual response is ‘because i choose to.’
Its finally 2014. Seems like 2013 just flew by. Yesterday I spent yet another day thinking on how I can make a living not working if that even makes sense. Been spending a lot of time on self improvement blogs after the disaster that was 2013. This blog is basically going to be a brain dump where I put everything down. I’ve sworn myself to missions that have no end these are lifetime commitments that will make me a better man with lots of money and ladies obviously.
Read on the excellent blog thumotic.com that we should be aligning our self improvement goals on several overarching categories: Health, Wealth, Sex, Focus, and Purpose in that order. With that in mind I’ve come up with two missions that I have been focusing on.
- Health: Intermittent fasting is basically a shit kick in the face to any fat on my body and people are starting to ask how I lost so much weight so quickly so that habit is going to continue. Sleep and eat my eggs, vegetables, and fish, and vitamins.
- Wealth: My job is about as precarious as it has ever been. Making money online is my second priority. If I have to write short stories about overgrown monkeys having their way with middle aged white women…well who am I to judge.
I know I will succeed at this only if it becomes a habit. Writing before/during work; gym after work.